The Chicago Bears, who already lack experience at the wide receiver position plan on adding world record breaking sprinter Usain Bolt to the roster.
Bolt nicknamed the “Lightning Bolt” has never played american football, but the Bears said they will insert him into the lineup across from Devin Hester.
Jay Cutler will now have the two fastest players in the NFL to throw to.
This is what Jay Cutler had to say about Bolt coming to Chicago:
“This is a great day for the Bears. This guy is super fast. Him and Hester lining up is a dream come true. It really is a historic day in football. I’m glad I’m not in Denver anymore.”
Look at former Bears wide receiver Willie Gault, he won the bronze medal in the 100m at the 1980 Liberty Bell Classic, then he won a Super Bowl.
At 6’5, 190 he’s really skinny. but he could bulk up.
He might have to start getting into the swing of things fast because he needs to learn the routes, how to adjust to game speed with the pads on and everything else about american football.
ESPN’s NFL analyst Mark Schlereth said this about Bolt as an NFL player:
“He would be a terrible football player, someone would “thunder punch” him and he wouldn’t be able to get off the line.”
Usain Bolt responded by saying this:
“Mark, I would thunder punch you and if you tried to thunder punch me, I would be gone before you knew it. OK. I’ll will do great in Chicago. Hester and I will run the wildcat all day baby.”
At 22 years old, Usain Bolt has a lot of time to develop into one of the greatest wide receivers of all time.
Thank goodness the Bears picked him up before anyone else did.
However, due to sensitivity of the content and the intellectual rights governed by its owner (me) I would like to formally request the removal of any related or involving contents connected to me, Usain Bolt, the NFL or Bearsbacker.com.
Quotes by Jay Cutler and Usain Bolt are not real, but Mark Schlereth’s quote is from ESPN.com
June 1st, 2009 at 11:49 am
Yeah right, Bolt would get crushed. He’s way too skinny to play in the NFL.
June 1st, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Thanks for the comment, but it’s a joke that’s why I put the article category under humor.
June 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Now that is creative though you may want to put a disclaimer at the bottom. Not everyone will read the category.
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:40 am
[...] This post was Twitted by Gavinsdad – Real-url.org [...]
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Yeah…it took me about 3 lines into this to know this articale was a heaping pile of horse dung. It got me to look at your site, but now I know it is loaded with BS, I will not be back. Too bad, looks like it had potential. See ya!
June 2nd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Hey perp I think your on to something here, this guy could be one heck of a field goal blocker.
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Steve that was the only article that made stuff up because its pretty damn funny but my other articles are all original from me.
Beerhound thanks for the comment, field goal blocker eh? thats not a bad idea.
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
What interesting article, but where took information?
June 4th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Usain would not be able to take a hit in practice and get up from it let alone a game… I say the bears need to bring in Plax!!
June 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I would love Plax on the Bears but he has some serious legal issues
June 8th, 2009 at 4:53 am
I agree. dont you think the punishment is a little severe though? Plus even if he gets out of the legal matters I gauruntee he gets handed a year suspension from the NFL.
June 8th, 2009 at 7:47 am
I’m about to write a Plax article so check it out
September 1st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
[...] Chicago Bears To Sign Usain Bolt? | Bears Backer http://www.bearsbacker.com/2009/06/chicago-bears-to-sign-usain-bolt – view page – cached It’s THE Blog For Any Chicago Bears Fan, The Chicago Bears, who already lack experience at the wide receiver position plan on adding world record breaking sprinter Usain Bolt to the roster. Bolt — From the page [...]